The “Guilt” Feeling

I will start it directly, as direct as I am. Have you ever felt pretty pathetic for your behavior at particular instant, at which you felt good of what you were doing but later on you realized how horrible it was?

I guess it’s tough even to think of such a situation, but believe me fellas, it does happen. And the guilt thereafter is something of a magnitude, which if put in parallel terms, may cross the upper limit of any measuring device. Well, I went through such situation in my life, and though writing it down may not alleviate the guilt, it certainly can help me not to repeat it in future.

More often than not, you write what you can’t share in a physical conversation with anyone, Or maybe you don’t have “anyone” to share. Or you feel yourself at such nadir, that you yourself can’t believe how you did that, leave the talks of sharing it with anyone.  As you could have guessed, the later one is my version.

I have always been a direct person, ”honest” in my opinion, rude to some uncomfortable  levels at times. This rudeness, mixed with some false perception and anger takes in a fuming form that is too tough to handle, even for myself. I have experienced it many times, but the recent one was too hard to handle.

Positive part, I have realized how important another human being is for one. Though financial experts might disagree, believe me,   spend more part of your time and money on building relationships than making money. At “such” horrible times, no amount of money in the world can help you up, but a strong relationship or a close human being can. Just think, what a billion dollar can’t, might be done by just a human being.

Though I may be regarded pretty young for this (still in late 20s), believe me people, all my talks in here make more sense than anyone of TV shows you will watch today.

Note to Myself- Hope I just don’t write but take this from inside. Nothing in this world can make you learn things as much as guilt. I hope I won’t become an aberration in this.

Money isn’t Everything

…And it completes three years of corporate life for me,or better a life for satisfying my unwanted greed. I still remember the days of my Graduation when i wanted to work in a corporate company,wearing those Armani or Blackberry clothes, shoes, watches, smartphones and flashing to the people. Oh those immature dreams.

I still remember the day i got this job, was happy just for the thought that i will earn handsome and that will make me the happiest guy. Alas, didn’t knew this never  will happen.

At 20 something, when you are graduating, all you think of is money. You want money to buy some big brand clothes, Under-wears with some Guy’s name on it, those “i-devices” or Big Galaxy devices and those luxury items which are just nothing but the consumerism trait of your. Little you know at that time the things you  own will end up owning you.

Some years in work and you start realizing this is not what you wanted from your life. This is not what you are meant to do. The 5-digit(or 6-digit for some) bucks you get credited to your account at the end of the month is not your life!! Its just a part of vicious circle you are forced into,the more you earn the more you spend on things you never need, and at the end its just consumerism and companies enforcing it that win.

Ever wondered why people wait so eagerly for weekends,why they hate monday so much, but inspite of this peculiar behaviour they continue doing what they have been without any change?

Its just because they are the basic ingredients of this money market life we are subjected to. People are not humans but just some resource who are fed onto what is desired and they behave as wanted.Much more like Droid i would say.

Some men realize this is not what they want.I, after 3 years of my robotic life with nothing but money with me,realize life is not just this.Its much more than this.

I,by no means, want to say people should stop working and start their journey for Nirvana,for that would defeat the very purpose.I just want to emphasis that before you fall into  the demonic vicious circle of Money-consumerism-wants-market-money, make sure that the work you are doing is what you want and what drives you.That every Monday you have the passion and the zeal inside you which takes you to your workplace,not that  desire for salary.That the people you work with deserve your company and vice-versa and that you enjoy that company with a wholehearted laughter than a fake smirk or smile.

We assume money to be the foundation where life is built, but its not the case. Rather than money, its your happiness, passion and zeal for your work and the relationships with the people you work and live with which matters. I would urge to all 20-something graduating to look for a broader prospect of life before choosing  a job, make money a secondary criteria.

Sycophancy-The only relevant fact in corporates?

When i was about to join a corporate firm (and by no means a small one),I was pretty much sure that these firms value your acumen or talent and your diligence. A little more than 30 months spent, and all these hopes  seem fake,or rather a futile attempt to keep the sanctity of work done in these.

When your moronic goony boss tells its your performance and no other thing that has made you stand where you are now(Current Ctc still lower than College cgpa,and you were no topper), you have all the reasons to ask him fuck yourself.Man, i see  people doing nothing but licking whatever they could of their boss’s and with each appraisal, rising  like Android market share.I have seen guys who,let only do what they are assigned to,cant even understand what actually company hires them for, rising like no of hits on justin beiber’s videos on YouTube.

So what actually fuels their  growth and not somebody’s as maverick as me.Simple,the art of sycophancy.They are born Sachin Tendulkar in it.I have seen them constantly polishing any shit the so called fucking boss gives,licking every one of  his words and proving all it as right.I have seen guys go beyond the level of bullshit,let alone humanity,for the sake of being in boss’s good books.And,believe me,they are the one who own those flats and cars you see,who flash those devices and whose wives flash those fancy clothes in supermalls you see.

What’s left for non sycophant,narcissist maverick like me.Well,this world is no utopia and if you expect it to be one,you are a fucking idiot.All you can do is start bathing with that sycophancy gel daily so as to get that in your skin soon,for sooner you get better it would be in longer term,or believe the inside of yours  to overcome these sycophants and their hierarchy and society.The best one is to form your own world, a near to utopian world,where what you get is what you deserve.You can call it startups or your own business units,i call it own world creation,with  chances  of perfection as high as Chances of MS Dhoni hitting  10+runs in the last over of any match.(Given India is chasing) 

 

The Fatso Indian male and his counterpart

Okay,before you conclude, i would tell you this blog is indeed inspired by Cyrus Broacha’s book- Average indian male.
So,what comes in your mind when you see an average indian male on the daylight,either spitting a gutkha or pan,peeing in the places most prohibited for doing so,gauging and measuring any woman who passesby as if US govt is looking for Edward snowden? Well well.

Physical description is very aptly described by some gal on twitter-“An indian male is one whose tummy size is bigger than his dick size”.Don’t laugh,more often than not its true for indian guys(averaging 30 or more in age).All the fats aggregated in the belly region really makes it so.The cheeks as rounded as JLO’s butts(even better),typical moustache,half bald, a typical belt hanging the trouser,whether its necessary or not is a different issue.Fashion sense,oh God,what are you talking about.You can spot them with those white sports shoe with a well formal trouser.Lolest moment indeed.

The guy is overburdened with family responsibilities(kids demand,his big ass wife’s,very typical of indian woman,demands and to add to this his parental and other social responsibilities).He keeps working at same place till the company says-you are retired(we in india dont follow the “you are fired” culture,thanx to the diverse politics).Never does he thinks of his dreams or desires or what life he could have,all the time he lives the life he is given upon and carries on the slavery till the life ends.And financial things,even Robert T Kiyosaki  would give up teaching them the essence of financial knowledge.

I am not very well aware about the life of his fat ass wife,but am sure she has no life either.All her life is about her husband,kids and that ends it.Oh ya,those Ekta kapoor soaps, how could i miss.They never had heard of amazing powers of life,or as Robin sharma would say,”whole nuclear reactor within yourself”.

Well its no jibe at their life,just an observation i would say!!

 

Hypocrisy – Come out of it !!

A long time since i have penned down anything,was over occupied in livelihood stuff.. Okay, i just had exposure to Dallas Buyers Club- indeed the movie to beat De Caprio’s Wolf of Wall Street- expect my language a bit affected by it.

So,here am touching a topic  i had wanted to write since a long time-Hypocrisy, and the way we practice it. Human being, by nature is not a pretender.You learn this art while growing up,and the manner and extent to which you exhibit is how your hypocrisy is defined. Some are quiet successful in it, and inspite of being the biggest dual role player ,you can never guess depending on their smile. And, they keep playing with you as if  you are the puppet toy.

We,Indians, i don’t know why, but exhibit a higher level of this trait. Our so called traditional laws ,customs, regulations, prohibit freedom to a large extent. As a result, we start living multiple lives. One that is original is just limited to us, for others we keep different one. Fake smiles, fake talks is all it becomes then. It is prevalent to such an extent that if you meet an honest non hypocrite person,and it says- NO, to your views or counter you , you get pissed off. Its not because you can’t take it,its because you are not used to!!

Consider, for an instant, we Indians respect elders. Respect to an extent where whatever  that elder(just in number called age) is singing, you accept it. You cant say no,and the moment you say it, boom!! What is it then,if you know you don’t agree, why cant you say it. Learn to say  no, if you disagree.

I am not gender biased but based on my experience,female exhibit a higher level of hypocrisy than men do. May be the higher curtains on their freedom has to do with it.  A female being firm in her yes or no, is indeed not common. Excuses are all she will have. About men,  their hypocrisy ,qualitatively, is more dangerous. Think about it, a middle aged man being furious at  his daughter for talking or dating a guy, but on an official trip looking for the same aged gals for his sexual satisfaction.You may counter,but to me this is utter hypocrisy.

The worst happens when it comes in a relationship. When you start exhibiting this ill trait in any of your relationships, friendship, love, or anything. I have witnessed people who call you as friend and exhibit the highest level of hypocrisy. People  take you for granted, instead of saying a direct No, will tell “Btata hun 5 minute mein” . C’mon Guys, come out of your closet and look,the world ain’t idiot than you are. Initially it may not be detected,but the moment it is, you are gonna lose the person for sure.

Will request  everyone who reads this, to be true to the best of  level you can. Learn to say direct No, Direct Yes, Counter the person whose views you don’t agree with. There are no personal gains achieved via this hypocrite trait. The more honest you are to yourself, the better it is. And yeah, if someone likes you for direct views,yes or no, that’s the person you know you should be with. Rest all are looking for something else,my friend.

 

Life is a Journey..

“We are travelers on a cosmic journey,stardust,swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share.This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist